to the 31st

Exactly seven days from now, i will be 31. I just don't know how to feel. Deep inside, I am still the 17 years old that I was, ready to conquer the world. But over the years, I lost the hunger to be the best that I should be. I just don't know what happened. I normally am competitive. I usually strive to be the best in every work that I do. Ten years after I graduated from college and 5 jobs after, I really don't now where I am heading.

Is this what they call midlife crisis? I remember when I was in my early twenties, I told myself that by the age of 30, I will have my own car, a fat bank account, my own house, my master's degree and neither of those is happening now. And i don't have a single peso in my savings account, despite having a stable job and a business.

Nevertheless,I still have a lot to thank God for. A loving family, supportive boss and co-workers and true friends. My family, most especially my nanay, always remind me that God never leaves my side and that to always pray inspite and despite of. Whenever I talk to my mom, my heart always swells with love and breaks with regrets. I really love my family that I promised that I will be the one to sustain the family when my mom and dad retired from work, but as of the moment I failed.

I know that God has better plans for me. But I hope that my parents are still around when that right time come for me to share whatever blessing He will shower upon us. On my birthday, I only wish good health for my nanay, tatay, my 2 brothers, my nephew, my dog and myself. No fancy nancy wishes. Just that.